Note to Self: You Don't Always Need Permission

Sonofaf*ckingbiscuit.


I started this blog, as well as my tumblr, because I often feel that in the "real" world, I do not have much of a voice. I have been a shy, quiet, ANXIOUS introvert my whole entire life. I have always been obedient, the rule-follower, the peace-maker. Although I don't like being bossed around exactly, and I'd like to think I'm somewhat independent, I've always preferred to be given instruction. Teachers told me what to do, and I did it. Professors told me what to do, and I did it. Employers told me what to do... you get the picture.


Although I feel like I've been doing an okay job at trying to be honest and really say what I'm feeling, I know I also hold back a lot as well. I edit obsessively. I read, and re-read things to make sure they sound right. I delete something if I think it sounds lame or stupid. Believe me, ever since I published my previous post, I've been debating whether or not I should delete it.


Basically, I'm always worried about being judged, and I'm always concerned about having validation. 


You know the saying, "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all?" Well, I take that to the extreme. I feel if I don't have something important, relevant, ect. I shouldn't be saying it.


But this is my blog. This is my voice. It matters, and is relevant, because it's mine.


So my new goal is to try and remember that if I feel like writing about something... I should. Write about it, and not worry that it's stupid or that people are judging me. I know that worry will probably stay on the back burner in my mind, but I need to suck it up and just write anyways.


Here's to less self-censored blogging :)


By the way, I should also mention, I electronically met a new friend who planted these thoughts in my head :) Ah, the internet... Tessa, if you read this, thank you for the kind encouragement <3 I so needed it!